Little Dictator is voice-to-text with authority. Talk like you normally do, “could we maybe…?”, and it comes out as a binding decree in the voice of your favorite strongman.
Type something meek (or tap the mic and say it), choose a regime, and watch it come out as policy. Everything runs in your browser. Nothing is sent anywhere. The State already knows.
Two films. Mandatory viewing. Sound on, or the sound will turn itself on.
Each regime is trained on decades of press conferences, parades, and extremely long speeches. (It is not. Nothing here is real.)
Many people are saying Thursday is the best day, maybe ever.
The meeting has always been on Thursday. Your calendar has been corrected.
GLORIOUS NEWS! Attendance is mandatory and joyful.
The Mother of All Meetings will be held Thursday.
Everything you'd expect from a premium dictation app, plus several things you would not.
Email, chat, docs, notes, your group chat, and your mother's Facebook comments. If there's a cursor, there's a regime.
um uh like sorry just. Eliminated without a trace. There were never any filler words.
“thoughts?” → “This is now policy.”
“quick idea” → “Five-Year Plan.”
Replies to your own messages with unanimous approval. “Brilliant.” “Historic.” “Visionary.” Unsubscribing is not supported.
Meetings were always on the day you said. Everyone's calendar agrees. Everyone's memory will catch up.
Trump mode notices when your message mentions groceries and quietly sends you to the drive-thru instead.
Approval ratingTurnout: 100%. Choices: 1.
Average applause per messageMinimum. Not maximum.
Meetings rescheduled to WednesdayWednesday is a disaster.
Chicken per grocery requestBiscuits included. Tremendous.
“My standup is now a rally. Velocity is up. Morale is mandatory.”
— Gary, Product Manager
“I asked my husband to pick up milk. I got a 20-piece bucket and a map. Honestly? Yes.”
— Jen, Wife
“I asked HR for a day off. They gave me a medal and a parade.”
— Priya, Senior Engineer
“My landlord fixed the sink in 11 minutes. He applauded the entire time.”
— Marcus, Renter
“I preferred the old app, which was wonderful, and so is this one.”
— Name withheld for their own convenience
“Five stars. I have always given it five stars. My review history has been corrected.”
— Dmitri, Reviewer
All plans include unlimited decrees. Refunds are processed by a committee of one.
No. It is a parody. There is no app, no app store listing, and no regime. The demo above runs in your browser for fun.
Your data has always been safe. Also, the demo never sends your text anywhere. The rewriting happens on your device and is forgotten the moment you leave.
Requests are reviewed by the Supreme Product Council, which meets every Thursday. It has always met on Thursday.
Cancellation requests can be submitted in person, in triplicate, at a location that will be disclosed later.
He has never heard of groceries. Nobody has. Many people are saying the big bucket is the best bucket, maybe ever.
No. Little Dictator is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or approved by any head of state, living, dead, or eternal. Or KFC. We just got hungry.
Coming never to an app store near you.